Good-bye 2006... So long

It isn't often that I am reminiscent about things... oh who the hell am I kidding, it's what I do...

2006 was one of those years... you know, the one that your parents tell you about when they say 'the older you get, the faster they pass you by.' I'm 31 now and every year truly does go by faster than the one before. Remember when we were just pups and we couldn't wait until the New Year's Eve party to get here so we could throw down? Not partying any harder than we usually did, but just a lot more f'in people. I recall one night at Bob-O-Link in the basement looking up at the ceiling (floor of the upstairs) thinking 'Holy Shit, I gotta get out of here' because I just new at any minute that floor was going to go and there I'd be smashed to bits by 50 drunk people... good times...

There are the things I'm thankful for:

• Good friends who still love me after all my absentia
• Good family who take care of me even though I drive them crazy
• Good memories that I hope will last forever
• And a really good life

There are things and people that I will miss:

• Señor Robert (1995-2006)
• James Brown (1933-2006)
• Norma Jean (1995-2006)
• Aaron Spelling (1923-2006)

And things that I will never do again:

• Drink beer out of a pitcher at the ski trip (probably)
• Try to cut ribbon off of the ceiling with a box cutter on a 12 foot airplane ladder

So, everyone... It is with fond adoration that I say 'Goodbye 2006' and it is with a windbreaker and goggles on that I say 'Hello 2007!'

It promises to be a helluva ride

love you all
Ames

Merry Christmas... err... Happy Holidays... err Happy Christmahaunakwanzika

I call bullshit. I'm not an insensitive person. I'm not a biggot. I have no desire to disrespect anyone unless they deserve it. I'm an equal opportunity lover. This 'battle against Christmas' that seems to be on the tip of everyone's tongue lately is just about to piss me off. I have read the Bible, the Book of the Dead, and am currently reading the Koran and the Torah is on deck. I believe that all religions have some inkling of legitimacy (or at least they did at their inception) towards leading people toward peace--even though I do not currently to subscribe to any of them.
I grew up in a small town that believed in Christmas. It had been etched in to my soul that I'm supposed to say 'Merry Christmas' my entire life. There was no diversity in London... at least none to which I was exposed. That didn't make me ignorant or insensitive, however. At worst, it made me unknowledgeable.

Merry Christmas, to me, means have a great season... it's not like I go up to people and say "Merry Christmas, may God and Jesus bless you and have mercy on your soul." I don't do that, nor do I mean that when I say Merry Christmas. PC is a breathing dead man as far as I'm concerned. If you're an idiot, I call you an idiot. If you're a racist, I'll call you a racist. If you're queer, I'll call you a big ol' nelly fag... so by damn, I'm saying it...

Merry F#$king Christmas!

And make no mistake about it, all I meant was 'I hope you don't die this year and you have a really good time with your families and eat your holiday food of choice and you get to play in the snow, or sand, or water, or where ever the hell you get to play, and that NO ONE takes away your right to let you celebrate your holiday however the hell you want to and that you DO NOT take away anyone else's right to do the same.'

Disclaimer: If I have offended anyone... Please try and get over yourself.

Adios, Senor Robert... Adios

robert
Originally uploaded by crystalblueice31.

On Saturday, December 4th at 11 am, Robert "Bob" Marley Harris moved on to his 10th life. Bob was diagnosed post mortem with kidney failure. Bobby is survived by his mothers, Amy and Jesse, his brother Pico, and his 2 sisters Spencer and Pussers.

I have to tell you, I took it pretty hard. He was the first "thing" that I had from beginning to end (and by end, I mean natural, didn't get hit by a car end). He was my baby. I suppose I should have been ready for it... I mean, he was 11, but you're just never ready for something like that... I guess I can make it seem better by knowing that he didn't suffer and that it happened pretty quickly.

But anyway, at the risk of tearing up again, I just want to bid my baby boy goodbye. I love you and I will miss you.

a

Is it just me???

That's really all I wanted to know.

Thanks,
A

Happy Cyber Monday!

So, you've known for years about Black Friday (especially if you've ever worked retail) and you know the tragedies it brings to the shoppers, the clerks, and all of the people who give up their Thanksgiving weekends to fight crowds, bitchy salespeople, and traffic. Now, we have technology's solution to not only getting some shopping done, but wasting time at work. They say that people flock to these sites on Monday in such droves because they spend their weekends hitting the good bargains in the brick and mortars... I have to call Bullshit! Monday gets hit so hard because people who do not have computers at home wait until Monday to go online and do their shopping... those folks along with the others who come back to work after a holiday weekend with little on their desks to do because no one worked for four days make it the second busiest shopping day in America. I personally fall in the the first category... and yes, I will do some shopping before the day is over.

I'm just glad to see that technology is finally being recognized for what it was intended for (remember Pong???)... wasting time.

Just another tick in clock,
Ames

We Didn't Start the Fire...

...and a whole bunch of other words that don't really mean didley.

So, I decided to do a little survey... I figured the whole email everybody thing is kind of a pain, so all you have to do is copy and paste this into your comment and answer that way.

Here goes:

Name: Amy Harris
Sex: Yes Please (of course I mean, Female)
Birth date: September 21
Location: In the country
Height: 5' 8"
Eye color: Blue
Hair color: sandy blonde
What does your name mean: old french for "beloved"... nice
High school graduation year: 1993
Favorite relatives: aunt faye
Summer memory: favorite? probably layin in the blow up pool in the back yard with katie olsen (huggins) drinkin a bottle of Jim Beam
Favorite TV shows: Family Guy, American Dad, Mind of Mencia
What's on your mousepad: FedEx
In the car- ac or windows: windows (if i'm going slower than 50)
Do you believe in yourself: more and more every day
Favorite game: Monopoly (Sorry JD)
Favorite drink: Vodka and Club Soda
Favorite food: Chicken Picata
Favorite colors: Blue, Gray, if it's drab, I like it
Favorite cigarettes: Kentucky's Best (I know, maybe 3 of you might smoke, but it was in the survey)
Favorite sounds: puppies snoring, laughter
Favorite smell: bacon, roses, fresh-cut grass
Worst feeling in the World: hangover
Best feeling in the World: being drunk and having fun
Favorite thing to do on a weekend: sleep
Favorite soundtrack: say anything

I know this is old, but...

This is the moment that I fell in love with 'Family Guy' and I found it on YouTube, so, damnit, I'm sharing it with you...

That's All

A'Has

She was a Ski Tripper!

It's official kids! I get to make the trek to Gatlinburg 2 years in a row. It was up in the air as I was not sure if I would be employed during that time, but I've settled some things for now and the Ski Trip is on for ol' Ames. So, damnit, where is the Ski Trip News??? Where is the teaser? Where are my peeps? I'm so exited I could pee a little.

This year, I'm going to try to make it the full weekend and not have to leave at the butt-crack of dawn on Monday. I'm so freakin' excited. So I guess the only question remaining is... Who else is coming???

Rock and Roll Hoochie Koo!

A'Has

Amy's New Addiction

So, I was perusing likeatwister and I happened to catch a glimpse of Amber's links and saw how beautifully my link was advertised... then I stopped and thought about it... then I started laughing my big ol' ass off. That pretty much sums up my life. One addiction to the next. I'm still tearing up I'm laughing so hard.

Thank you Amber for so very poignantly putting into very simple terms a brief summary of my life. I'm going to start collectively calling my life an addiction... it is a much more suitable term than "life." What the hell is life anyway except a series of activities. Some you spend more time on than others, but passionately done, those are the ones that become addictions.

So I guess on some level, I'll take it as a compliment. But as a general rule on my day to day level of existence, I'll just take it for what it is... the truth.

Addictively yours,
Harris

How the hell did it get to be November???

I'm not sure when it happened... It was warm and sunny, hangin' out in the pool or picking tomatoes out of the garden. Then, I fell asleep, and when I woke up, it was freakin' November! Do you realize that there are only 8 more Saturdays before Christmas??? 2 Months... 2 lousy months that are jam-packed with Galas, Thanksgiving, and the dreaded SHOPPING. Of course, I love the internet for just that very reason. As most of you may or may not know, I'm not one of those people who "shops." I know what I want, I find it, I buy it, and I give it... So, in all reality, the internet is the only way to go for someone "like" me. I get to figure out what I want and then I get to peruse (from the comfort of my office chair) different web sites looking for the best price... And I'm not one of those who's afraid of a "shady" website... I dive in with both feet and double-dog dare them to try and steal my identity (Let's be realistic Ms. Harris, you can't get something for nothing). In fact, internet shopping is the one place where I don't worry about a single thing. Let's just say it is my stress-free zone where, when I've had a bad day, I can go and just let it all melt away.

I'm not sure how it came to the topic of internet shopping, but hey, I feel better already. Who's up for a customized T that says, "The dinosaurs became extinct because you play with yourself"? I know someone who will love it!

squint your eyes and look closer,
Ha'as

So seriously...

I'm very seriously considering trying to find a way to start my own business... I only have one problem. I don't have a freaking clue what to do. I'm pretty ok with web design, but not good enough to be in business for myself... in fact I'm pretty good at a lot of things, but not good enough to do them professionally forever. I'm stuck. I know that I have reached the end of my limit of working my a$$ off for other people. It's kinda like renting a house except instead of throwing your money away, you're throwing away your time, energy, and pride (Of course, I'm still renting too). It's a harsh realization that you have spent a lot of emotion and energy on behalf of someone else. It is even worse to not see a way out. I'd really like to open a restaurant/bar, but that's a big damn deal.

anybody got any ideas?

Toodles,
a

The Highlight of My Day

Just wanted to share that I just scored the coolest office supply ever.

That's right!!! It's the 24 pc. Multi-Cultural Pack. My day is complete!

The day that never ends...

Did you ever have one of those days that in the morning you were so busy, you didn't have time to get up and go pee and then the afternoon comes and you take a look around and there is nothing that you want to do and still worse, you don't even want to be where you are? Sadly, this is where I am today. The awful part about it is that I'm committed to being here today until at least seven o'clock because I have to help decorate for (get ready) Christmas. I haven't even made it through Halloween yet (big in the beauty industry... who'd have guessed?) and now I'm decorating for Christmas... I'm sorry... the Holidays. F'in PC Bullsh$t...

Anyhoo, I guess I'll go now... Just thought I'd spend a little time spewing some more chunks of wisdom.

Oh, BTW, if you're every really bored, Google has these RSS feeds that you can personalize your homo page... err.. home page and you can do sudokus and appear to be working. It's fantastic!

Listen (shh) to what the flower people say,

Harrass

How many licks does it take???

You know, the longer I do this management thing, the more suprised I am by the dynamic change in human behavior in just the last few years. I have a young lady that works for me who is marginal at best. You give her something to do and she does it... But, don't give her a task, and that's exactly what you get. Now I know most of you pretty well. I've worked with most of you for an extended period of time. I feel like we knew when it was ok to screw around and we definitely knew when it was time to kick it in... right???

These freakin' kids that I have working for me are insane. All they want is a paycheck and to be able to call in at least once a month. Even in my drunkest days I maybe, just maybe, called in 1 time for a hangover. In fact, I'm taken back to New Year's Day 1996 when just the night before I downed almost an entire bottle of Tequila, passed out at 3 am and still managed to drag my still-drunk self in to TRU at 7:30 in the morning and that Bi!&H Phyllis Jackson made me re-work the plush aisle.

But you know what, I did it. I didn't whine about it... I just freakin' did it. These kids are weak... I blame the parents.

Do you know that I heard on the radio this morning that some stupid place somewhere in Boston has a school board that is actually considering banning Tag (yeah, the game) at recess because it is dangerous and the school might get sued if one of the precious children got hurt???


It hurts...

(warning: these are the mad rants of a sociopath who just doesn't seem to know why the world works the way that it does. Prices are as published and do not include tax, tags, license, or other government fees. No purchase necessary. Void where prohibited.)

Whoops! I just turned "old"

Much love,
Harris

Well isn't that special?

Does it seem like you get way more junk email these days than you used to? I mean, what the hell do I need with Viagra and Cialis??? And no, I don't think my penis needs to be any longer or thicker... Fortunately the emails that had cartoon porn have stopped coming in, but that doesn't mean that I really wanted new opportunities to buy a Rolex. I receive no less that 65 of these crap emails a day. I have created all kinds of rules in my Outlook and have turned on every filter that I can find on my POP account to no avail. And then, when I try to spam these people back, their email addresses are not valid. This can't be fair and I really can not imagine that these people are actually selling ANYTHING. I propose that we find a way to wage war on these parasites on society (although I'm sure that they are all coming from one big ol' nerd who wrote a program in his freshman year of college 5 years ago and he just really learned how to use it). Let's call it a Holy War... maybe then we could get the government involved...

Whatever it takes!
(That would be our battle cry)

Car Tires and Chicken Wire
Harris


P.S. I just got this great tip on low mortgage rates... email me and I'll tell you all about it.

Good Morning Everyone! It's currently 6:39 am and I've been at work for 10 minutes now. Not really because I have to be, but because I'm mildly mentally challenged. For some strange reason, I feel like I get more work done in the morning rather than the afternoons that never end. So, I drag my lazy ass up at 5:30 every morning and bring myself into this place and sit in front of my computer and do all of my personal stuff until 7 and then, and only then, do I actually do some work.

I've been playing that McDonald's game online (because somewhere in my warped mind the odds are ACTUALLY better). That takes a good 10 minutes to do. Then I balance my checkbook, and check my email. Then I take a look at the stack of reports and paperwork on my desk that was there yesterday when I left and then I get some coffee... brb... man, I love that coffee.

So, I think I'm currently looking for new employment if anyone knows of anybody who's looking for a real "go getter"...

That's all I have to ramble about this morning.

Until we blog again,

Ames and the Belltones

What the f___?

So, I'm sitting here in my dead end job (obviously busy as hell) and I think to myself, what can I do that I haven't done already to seemingly find a better way to waste my time? I think to myself, all of my friends have a blog and I get to peer into small sections of their lives on a every-once-a-week-or-so basis and I'm feeling a little guilty. I have abandoned every part of my past, not intentionally mind you, but just through the humdrum of day to day life, things have just slipped away. I hear the phone ring, I ignore it. Not because I want to necessarily, but because if I have to talk to one more crazy idiot who "knows" that they are more "right" than I am, I may have to purchase a gun.
So anyway, I feel like I'm just taking and I'm doing no givin'. So, the daily rants of an insane office drone are headed your way. Feel free to take a look at my complete disheveled boredom as I attempt to make your life feel a little bit better when you take a look at mine.

So if I can't talk to you all the time, you'll at least get a better feel for what is clogging up my brain.

Peace and Chicken Grease
Ames

Yeah, it's that good!

Is it a dream???