So, I really think I want to get deeper into this 'slow food' movement... I mean, it makes total sense for us as human beings to eat things that are produced locally and that don't have to be dipped in some sort of preservative to get to our mouths... So, I added this little box at the bottom-right side of my blog (it's been there for a couple of months now) to tell me what produce is in season at any given time... buy it local, buy it in season, buy it cheap, and it WILL be good...
Alas, for the last two weeks, I have gotten the proverbial blue screen of death in that little box "Nothing is in Season at this Time."
I guess I'm just going to have to learn how to do my own home preserving so I can enjoy things and save them when they are meant to be saved and not when someone at Birds Eye tells me it it's time...
Monday, December 13, 2010
Monday, September 20, 2010
And I'm Halfway to 40...
So, I remember when I turned 25 and Amber (in all seriousness) told me that I was halfway to 30... of course, it only took a few seconds for all of us in the vicinity to bust out laughing (including Amber) at the silliness of what had just been said.
Twenty-five and the world is ahead of you. Not really a care in the world... except those damn debt collectors who wouldn't stop calling me. God, that really is the most annoying thing in the world (on a side note, I'd like to offer an apology to all those who had to endure those years of phone calls for me... yeah, I'm super sorry about that). But aside from that, not really much in the way of caring about anything.
Thirty-five and things are a little different. Hell, they're a LOT different. There are no more annoying phone calls (at least I got that part figured out), but there is also no more time. No more time to not care about anything. No more time to hang out and do nothing. No more time to find the kid in you. There are too many other things to worry about. There's a mortgage, the bills (that you pay to keep those assholes from calling you), there's work, there's school, there's yard work (which I have woefully neglected), there's trying to take time out to be a good friend, there's homework, there's the car payment, and there's stress... the stress of trying to figure out how to balance it all and still have enough time to just be me.
I know the school thing is adding to that stress and it is only temporary... but when that's done, then what? There's going to be new jobs and new adventures that will pull away from all the other things that make this already delicate balance even more tenuous.
I used to think that people who had 'mid-life' crises were just being self-absorbed babies. They were just selfish and narcissistic jerks who bought sports cars and spent their time ditching everything that was important to them. I thought I was above ever going through any kind of emotion about getting older... I think I was wrong...
I'm not sure when it hit me... maybe it was last week when I realized that I was about to be 35 and I was sitting at my desk peeling stickers off of bottles... probably wouldn't have been so bad if it were a rare occasion, but it's not. I do the most menial tasks every day in the hopes that I can keep a job I don't even really like anymore. Thirty-five years old, workin' for the man, trying to make a living that is barely that and hating every minute of it. It's not that I hate working... It's just that I hate what I do, I hate that I'm really damn good at it, and I hate that I'm smart enough to know that I should never have been here to start with.
That's the thing, see... I know that I'm smart... too smart for this crap anyway. But with my 'intelligence' comes a level of stupidity that is unsurpassed my most. I wasted a lot of it... hell, up until the time I made the decision to go back to school, I damn near wasted all of it. I wish I had been smart enough to not waste my smarts.
That's my big regret. My only one really... all that other stuff that I've screwed up was just a learning experience. And I think it's all made me a pretty awesome person... and let's face it, I'm pretty freakin' awesome.
I just wish I could get past that whole wasting my talent thing. I told my mom last weekend that I'm pretty sure that if I had gone to culinary school when I originally wanted to and knowing what I know now about it, I probably would have screwed that up too... I wasn't mentally ready for it... I wasn't mature enough to handle the pressure... so in that sense, I guess that wasn't so bad, but still, it doesn't change the fact that I'm 35 years old now with an IQ of 141 and it took me 34 years to figure out that I'm an idiot.
How's that for irony?
Twenty-five and the world is ahead of you. Not really a care in the world... except those damn debt collectors who wouldn't stop calling me. God, that really is the most annoying thing in the world (on a side note, I'd like to offer an apology to all those who had to endure those years of phone calls for me... yeah, I'm super sorry about that). But aside from that, not really much in the way of caring about anything.
Thirty-five and things are a little different. Hell, they're a LOT different. There are no more annoying phone calls (at least I got that part figured out), but there is also no more time. No more time to not care about anything. No more time to hang out and do nothing. No more time to find the kid in you. There are too many other things to worry about. There's a mortgage, the bills (that you pay to keep those assholes from calling you), there's work, there's school, there's yard work (which I have woefully neglected), there's trying to take time out to be a good friend, there's homework, there's the car payment, and there's stress... the stress of trying to figure out how to balance it all and still have enough time to just be me.
I know the school thing is adding to that stress and it is only temporary... but when that's done, then what? There's going to be new jobs and new adventures that will pull away from all the other things that make this already delicate balance even more tenuous.
I used to think that people who had 'mid-life' crises were just being self-absorbed babies. They were just selfish and narcissistic jerks who bought sports cars and spent their time ditching everything that was important to them. I thought I was above ever going through any kind of emotion about getting older... I think I was wrong...
I'm not sure when it hit me... maybe it was last week when I realized that I was about to be 35 and I was sitting at my desk peeling stickers off of bottles... probably wouldn't have been so bad if it were a rare occasion, but it's not. I do the most menial tasks every day in the hopes that I can keep a job I don't even really like anymore. Thirty-five years old, workin' for the man, trying to make a living that is barely that and hating every minute of it. It's not that I hate working... It's just that I hate what I do, I hate that I'm really damn good at it, and I hate that I'm smart enough to know that I should never have been here to start with.
That's the thing, see... I know that I'm smart... too smart for this crap anyway. But with my 'intelligence' comes a level of stupidity that is unsurpassed my most. I wasted a lot of it... hell, up until the time I made the decision to go back to school, I damn near wasted all of it. I wish I had been smart enough to not waste my smarts.
That's my big regret. My only one really... all that other stuff that I've screwed up was just a learning experience. And I think it's all made me a pretty awesome person... and let's face it, I'm pretty freakin' awesome.
I just wish I could get past that whole wasting my talent thing. I told my mom last weekend that I'm pretty sure that if I had gone to culinary school when I originally wanted to and knowing what I know now about it, I probably would have screwed that up too... I wasn't mentally ready for it... I wasn't mature enough to handle the pressure... so in that sense, I guess that wasn't so bad, but still, it doesn't change the fact that I'm 35 years old now with an IQ of 141 and it took me 34 years to figure out that I'm an idiot.
How's that for irony?
Sunday, May 09, 2010
Chapter 7, Day 37
Peas with Fennel and Bacon (Or Soy Bacon if you so prefer)
You will need:
Half a bulb of fennel, diced
1 small or half of a large onion, diced
1 clove of garlic, minced
1/4 to 1/2 lb of bacon (depending on on how much you dig the swine) or soy bacon (if there is such a thing) chopped up
1 lb of frozen peas (thawed)
1/2 cup of chicken stock or broth
1/2 stick of butter (cubed and COLD)
1/4 cup of the fennel fronds and parsley, finely chopped, divided into two piles
Take the bacon and saute it on medium heat until the fat is rendered and the bacon is done (just shy of crispy). Remove the bacon from the pan and add onions, fennel, and garlic to the pan (you will probably need to add some oil if you're using the soy stuff). Sweat, don't brown, the mixture until the fennel is soft. When the vegetables are soft, add 2/3 of the bacon back to the pan and saute for 2-3 more minutes. Then add the chicken stock and fold in the peas and cook over medium heat until the chicken stock is almost evaporated. Remove from the heat and add the cubed butter and half of your parsley/fennel frond mixture to the pan and swirl in the pan or fold with a spatula until the butter is melted. Pour onto a serving dish and sprinkle the remaining bacon and parsley/fennel mixture over the top and serve.
It's like a little bite of heaven in your mouth... I promise
You will need:
Half a bulb of fennel, diced
1 small or half of a large onion, diced
1 clove of garlic, minced
1/4 to 1/2 lb of bacon (depending on on how much you dig the swine) or soy bacon (if there is such a thing) chopped up
1 lb of frozen peas (thawed)
1/2 cup of chicken stock or broth
1/2 stick of butter (cubed and COLD)
1/4 cup of the fennel fronds and parsley, finely chopped, divided into two piles
Take the bacon and saute it on medium heat until the fat is rendered and the bacon is done (just shy of crispy). Remove the bacon from the pan and add onions, fennel, and garlic to the pan (you will probably need to add some oil if you're using the soy stuff). Sweat, don't brown, the mixture until the fennel is soft. When the vegetables are soft, add 2/3 of the bacon back to the pan and saute for 2-3 more minutes. Then add the chicken stock and fold in the peas and cook over medium heat until the chicken stock is almost evaporated. Remove from the heat and add the cubed butter and half of your parsley/fennel frond mixture to the pan and swirl in the pan or fold with a spatula until the butter is melted. Pour onto a serving dish and sprinkle the remaining bacon and parsley/fennel mixture over the top and serve.
It's like a little bite of heaven in your mouth... I promise
Saturday, May 01, 2010
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Chapter 7, Day 24
Wow, what a difference a few weeks makes. When I first started this endeavor, Saturdays really killed me. I am just not used to being on my feet all day and having to stand in one spot or even run around like a controlled-chaos idiot. Not to mention the fact that my shoes are most likely a half-size too small (but it's too late now). I would get to the end of class and look for any reason I could to sit down... usually it was after we ate and I would go outside to smoke and sit down (bearing in mind that this is the only allowable break in our day). But really that only made it worse. Go sit for 7 minutes and every joint and muscle in your lower body just seizes up and it makes walking just that much more painful.
Today, I didn't succumb to the temptation... today was actually the first time I didn't feel like I needed to. Don't get me wrong, my feet still hurt like a... ahem... well, they hurt really bad, but it's getting better. It's getting more tolerable. It's becoming ok.
Honestly, that was my only doubt about being able to do this... the physical part... but I've since realized that I'm doing way better than some people who are 10 years younger than me and in much better shape... I'm gonna be ok. It's really going to happen.
Peace
Today, I didn't succumb to the temptation... today was actually the first time I didn't feel like I needed to. Don't get me wrong, my feet still hurt like a... ahem... well, they hurt really bad, but it's getting better. It's getting more tolerable. It's becoming ok.
Honestly, that was my only doubt about being able to do this... the physical part... but I've since realized that I'm doing way better than some people who are 10 years younger than me and in much better shape... I'm gonna be ok. It's really going to happen.
Peace
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Chapter 7, Day 17
Today... shoo... today was rough. Not only did I wake up with a headache that I thought was going to kill me, but today was our first lab where we started making actual recipes. We practiced some knife cuts for the first hour or so and then our groups (3 people each) began working on our menu. Each group was given three recipes to do and 3 hours to do it in. See, what we do, is all the stuff we cook feeds all three lab classes for the day, so when we say service is at 1... well, we better damn well be ready. There's nothing more intimidating than two other classes full of students who are ahead of you and who have been through what you're going through drooling on the glass of the doors waiting. My group was responsible for a garden salad with homemade croutons and vinaigrette, tuna salad, and corn chowder. All of these recipes seem relatively easy, except you're making enough for 30-40 servings each. There is A LOT of prep work... so, let me back up.
When we were practicing knife cuts, this kid in my group (and I say kid because I believe he's about 20) kept leaving his thumb out when he was chopping where it was only a matter of time before he chopped it off... and I told him that. I said, "man, if you keep that thumb out, you're going to lose it." He was good until we got done with knife cuts. But then, when we started in prepping our ingredients for our menu, he started doing it again. At this point, I told him in my "I'm your boss tone" (thinking that might scare him a little bit) that he was, in fact, going to cut his thumb... maybe cut it off if he didn't stop it. So, thinking that I'd scared him a little, I went back on my merry little way prepping all the veg we were going to need for these big ol' dishes... not 10 minutes later I hear "uh oh" and I knew without looking what had happened. He had sliced his thumb and he had done it well. There was blood everywhere. It looked really bad. So, Chef sent him down to 'Public Safety' to get looked at... Great, we're down a man with all this stuff to do.
So finally, he came back and decided that it wasn't bad enough to leave and go to the hospital. So I'm thinking, "Well, at least he can mix stuff and be a gopher if he can't cut stuff (because they had his thumb wrapped up like he was a cartoon character that had just hammered his thumb)." But it wasn't to be... he just kinda moped around for the first 30 minutes he was back until something snapped in me... I told him if he was going to be here, he had to do something. So, I just started barking orders at him... go get this, do this, stir that. I didn't give that kid a chance to breathe... I have to tell you, that felt pretty good... It felt natural... I'm over here working my ass off and still having the wherewithal to see the big picture and get other people moving... In case you weren't sure, that is exactly what a chef does. I've worked in a couple of kitchens in my life, and that is just what they do. It's their name on the line and they expect that you know it.
It was really satisfying... I must say, in my normal life, I give orders all the time, but I have never been as comfortable doing it as I was today.
These are the little affirmations that let me know that I am making the right decisions with my life... it doesn't happen all that often, so, I'm going to relish it while I can.
Peace
When we were practicing knife cuts, this kid in my group (and I say kid because I believe he's about 20) kept leaving his thumb out when he was chopping where it was only a matter of time before he chopped it off... and I told him that. I said, "man, if you keep that thumb out, you're going to lose it." He was good until we got done with knife cuts. But then, when we started in prepping our ingredients for our menu, he started doing it again. At this point, I told him in my "I'm your boss tone" (thinking that might scare him a little bit) that he was, in fact, going to cut his thumb... maybe cut it off if he didn't stop it. So, thinking that I'd scared him a little, I went back on my merry little way prepping all the veg we were going to need for these big ol' dishes... not 10 minutes later I hear "uh oh" and I knew without looking what had happened. He had sliced his thumb and he had done it well. There was blood everywhere. It looked really bad. So, Chef sent him down to 'Public Safety' to get looked at... Great, we're down a man with all this stuff to do.
So finally, he came back and decided that it wasn't bad enough to leave and go to the hospital. So I'm thinking, "Well, at least he can mix stuff and be a gopher if he can't cut stuff (because they had his thumb wrapped up like he was a cartoon character that had just hammered his thumb)." But it wasn't to be... he just kinda moped around for the first 30 minutes he was back until something snapped in me... I told him if he was going to be here, he had to do something. So, I just started barking orders at him... go get this, do this, stir that. I didn't give that kid a chance to breathe... I have to tell you, that felt pretty good... It felt natural... I'm over here working my ass off and still having the wherewithal to see the big picture and get other people moving... In case you weren't sure, that is exactly what a chef does. I've worked in a couple of kitchens in my life, and that is just what they do. It's their name on the line and they expect that you know it.
It was really satisfying... I must say, in my normal life, I give orders all the time, but I have never been as comfortable doing it as I was today.
These are the little affirmations that let me know that I am making the right decisions with my life... it doesn't happen all that often, so, I'm going to relish it while I can.
Peace
Friday, April 16, 2010
Chapter 7, Day 16
So, tonight in my theory class, we have our first test. It's over the general 500 YEAR HISTORY of restaurants and the folks that began creating them, food sanitation, cooking methods, heat transfer methods, and recipe conversions... I am pretty sure there could not be a more random mix of things for a class to have one single test over. The history part would be so bad if they weren't all french and all of the words they used... well, they're french too. I suppose I'm fortunate to have had 3 years of french in high school and 2 semesters of it at UK (but I think we all know how well I performed there and ALL of the things that I've done since then to destroy brain cells). The food sanitation part is cool because it's just review from the other classroom-class I have this semester. Cooking methods (which also include equipment ID) is tough but it's doable. Heat transfer methods, well, that's just basic physics that I've somehow managed to actually retain all these years. And that leaves us with recipe conversions--breaking down recipes that make 100 servings into smaller portions... simple math, right??? Do you know how many ounces a Grade A Large Egg is? Do you know how many teaspoons are in a gallon?
I'm pretty sure if I stick one more number in my head right now, my frontal lobe will fall right out... right on to the floor in front of me, do a little dance, roll over and laugh at me, and then proceed to steam and melt away a la the wicked witch in The Wizard of Oz.
What a world...
Ah well, this is what I signed on for so, suck it up Harris!
I'm pretty sure if I stick one more number in my head right now, my frontal lobe will fall right out... right on to the floor in front of me, do a little dance, roll over and laugh at me, and then proceed to steam and melt away a la the wicked witch in The Wizard of Oz.
What a world...
Ah well, this is what I signed on for so, suck it up Harris!
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Chapter 7, Day 10
Not much going on in theory class last night but Saturday in lab, I must say, I kicked ass. I rocked at chiffonade, concasse, blanching, pasting garlic, and poaching. Minus the hiccups with battonier and brunoise (that are still beating me up) it was a really good day. I'm feeling a lot more confident after the second lab for sure. I just needed to absorb the first week and remember to relax. This is going to be fun...
Friday, April 09, 2010
Chapter 7, Day 8
Pardon my missing a few days, but I didn't really think you guys would want to know what I did on my non-school days because it wasn't much but work and study...
So, last night... Last night was good. We started in on parasitic infections and shellfish contamination and all I can say is, people need to stop pooping. Every infectious, food-borne illness that I have learned about in the last 2 weeks has something to do with poo. People don't wash their hands and have poo on them, they make you sick. People poo a lot and the water isn't treated correctly, the plants and animals get sick and then YOU get sick. All the way down to shellfish... they have toxins that stem from contaminated water that can make you sweat, then puke, then twitch, and then forget that the whole thing even happened (which, if I were going to get sick, I suppose that is how I'd want it to happen). Like I said before, the odds are in your favor that you won't get sick, but jeez.
Well, that's what I learned last night... people and animals poo too much. Oh yeah, and I got a 97 on my first test :)
So, last night... Last night was good. We started in on parasitic infections and shellfish contamination and all I can say is, people need to stop pooping. Every infectious, food-borne illness that I have learned about in the last 2 weeks has something to do with poo. People don't wash their hands and have poo on them, they make you sick. People poo a lot and the water isn't treated correctly, the plants and animals get sick and then YOU get sick. All the way down to shellfish... they have toxins that stem from contaminated water that can make you sweat, then puke, then twitch, and then forget that the whole thing even happened (which, if I were going to get sick, I suppose that is how I'd want it to happen). Like I said before, the odds are in your favor that you won't get sick, but jeez.
Well, that's what I learned last night... people and animals poo too much. Oh yeah, and I got a 97 on my first test :)
Saturday, April 03, 2010
Chapter 7, Day 3
Today... well, today was brutal. Don't get me wrong. This isn't a discouraged moment. This is just the truth. Six hours of standing in one spot trying to make perfect julienne carrots and potatoes is a gut-wrenching experience. I fully understand that chefs are on their feet for very long hours and work for very long stretches without stopping for anything. I know that this will be me in a short amount of time. But let me tell you, when you have a mainly desk-type job for 8 years and don't do a large amount of strenuous activity because you're a lazy slob like myself, 6 hours of standing in one spot with new shoes bent over a table with a knife in your hand is like asking a drunk for directions... it's just painful.
But like all things that are worthwhile, there is pain to be had and lessons to be learned. Today I got a really good lesson in "This is what happens when you are a lazy son-of-a-bitch"
No more, my friends... no more.
:)
But like all things that are worthwhile, there is pain to be had and lessons to be learned. Today I got a really good lesson in "This is what happens when you are a lazy son-of-a-bitch"
No more, my friends... no more.
:)
Friday, April 02, 2010
Chapter 7, Day 2
So, phew... got the first day under my belt and it's all good. However, since the class I go to on Thursday nights only meets one day a week for three hours and forty minutes, we took the obligatory 30 minute "this is who I am and this is the syllabus" time and then we dove right in to the wonderful world of Food Sanitation... let me tell you that it is safer not to eat and starve to death than it is to actually put food in your mouth... well, not statistically speaking, but who really likes any situation where the odds are one to anything that you'll get intestinal infections, vomiting, bloody stool, and severe abdominal cramps (or maybe even dead)? And it doesn't matter if it is flora or fauna... everything can be contaminated. Luckily though, I'm not one of those people who tend to worry about stuff like that (obviously) so it doesn't really bother me all that much. I'm pretty sure I've survived a few food 'taintings' in my day.
So, anyway, I hope to keep this blog rolling with all kinds of pathogen-induced, food-borne illness stories to keep the general population in a frenetic state for as long as I can. Why? Because I can :)
So, anyway, I hope to keep this blog rolling with all kinds of pathogen-induced, food-borne illness stories to keep the general population in a frenetic state for as long as I can. Why? Because I can :)
Thursday, April 01, 2010
Chapter 7, Day 1
Well, today is the day... Today I start the next chapter in my life. My 'first' day of school. It's weird... I went to bed last night with the same butterflies and restlessness that I remember having on the night before the first day of school when I was a kid. It was kinda cool though because I never really had that feeling when I started at UK, or back at LCC to try and make some sort of effort to not waste my life. I was excited and nervous just like a kid again.
I have to say that this is the most satisfying decision I have ever made for myself. I'm certainly not discounting other decisions that I have made that were awesome, but this is by far makes me feel... what's the word... ah yes, content... like I'm comfortable in my own skin for one of the very few times in my life.
So, at 6 o'clock tonight, I start Chapter 7. When I write the book, this one my not be the longest chapter, but I know it will have the happiest ending. I hope it rubs off on Chapters 8, 9, and 10
:)
I have to say that this is the most satisfying decision I have ever made for myself. I'm certainly not discounting other decisions that I have made that were awesome, but this is by far makes me feel... what's the word... ah yes, content... like I'm comfortable in my own skin for one of the very few times in my life.
So, at 6 o'clock tonight, I start Chapter 7. When I write the book, this one my not be the longest chapter, but I know it will have the happiest ending. I hope it rubs off on Chapters 8, 9, and 10
:)
Wednesday, March 03, 2010
Because I Think Too Much...
So, it has been quite some time since my last post, and for that, I apologize. Seems like life gets in the way sometimes, and other times, my apparent apathy toward life takes command. The last few months have been a time of soul searching for me... DEEP soul searching. To put it in perspective, the last time I went this deep, I quit my job of 7 years at Toys 'R Us and became a bum for about 8 months... so... yeah, it's that deep.
I was sitting at my desk about 4 months ago in one of my 'repetitive, redundant tasks make me drool and daydream' modes and I flashed forward 10 years to see myself sitting at my desk in another one of my 'repetitive, redundant tasks make me drool and daydream' modes only this time I was older and more pathetic. It was almost enough to make me a) cry for still doing the same mind numbing job all those years, b) bang my head against the wall because I let all my dreams die for a job, and c) kick myself in the face because I know I'm wasting my life here. Luckily for me, it takes a Proctor and Gamble commercial at the Olympics to make me cry, I had a headache already that day, and well, I think we all know I'm physically incapable of kicking myself anywhere except my other shin.
That's when I decided... I didn't know just yet what I was deciding except I was making a decision to change my life. I, for lack of a better description, completely wasted the rest of the day sitting and thinking about what the hell I really wanted to do with my life... my heart kept going back to culinary school but my brain kept rejecting the idea like I was still 18 years old, scared to go against the demands of my parents because they were paying for my school, and still servile to their wishes. I kept saying to myself, "it's too expensive" or "there's no future in it" or "you're too old now to do something like that... that world is for the youth"... and then I found myself becoming increasingly angry.
I was getting angry at myself because, for whatever childhood reason that keeps kicking me down, I was tired of telling myself 'NO'. The worst part was is that I do that with lots of things and never realize it until it's too late. So I told myself that I wasn't going to do that to myself anymore... I wasn't going to be my own best whipping post... I'm not going to be afraid to fail anymore... That the fear of failure over the short term was way less intimidating than the fear of regret for the rest of my life.
So I did it... I got online, requested information, actually answered the phone when they called me back, took the campus tour, filled out the paperwork, signed my student loan Master Promissory Note, got fitted for my chef coat and chef pants and chef shoes, went in and set up my schedule and got it all squared away.
I'm going to be a chef. I am going to do what my parents were afraid to do... what they made me afraid to do for all those years...
I AM GOING TO BE A CHEF!
Suck on that Harris!
I was sitting at my desk about 4 months ago in one of my 'repetitive, redundant tasks make me drool and daydream' modes and I flashed forward 10 years to see myself sitting at my desk in another one of my 'repetitive, redundant tasks make me drool and daydream' modes only this time I was older and more pathetic. It was almost enough to make me a) cry for still doing the same mind numbing job all those years, b) bang my head against the wall because I let all my dreams die for a job, and c) kick myself in the face because I know I'm wasting my life here. Luckily for me, it takes a Proctor and Gamble commercial at the Olympics to make me cry, I had a headache already that day, and well, I think we all know I'm physically incapable of kicking myself anywhere except my other shin.
That's when I decided... I didn't know just yet what I was deciding except I was making a decision to change my life. I, for lack of a better description, completely wasted the rest of the day sitting and thinking about what the hell I really wanted to do with my life... my heart kept going back to culinary school but my brain kept rejecting the idea like I was still 18 years old, scared to go against the demands of my parents because they were paying for my school, and still servile to their wishes. I kept saying to myself, "it's too expensive" or "there's no future in it" or "you're too old now to do something like that... that world is for the youth"... and then I found myself becoming increasingly angry.
I was getting angry at myself because, for whatever childhood reason that keeps kicking me down, I was tired of telling myself 'NO'. The worst part was is that I do that with lots of things and never realize it until it's too late. So I told myself that I wasn't going to do that to myself anymore... I wasn't going to be my own best whipping post... I'm not going to be afraid to fail anymore... That the fear of failure over the short term was way less intimidating than the fear of regret for the rest of my life.
So I did it... I got online, requested information, actually answered the phone when they called me back, took the campus tour, filled out the paperwork, signed my student loan Master Promissory Note, got fitted for my chef coat and chef pants and chef shoes, went in and set up my schedule and got it all squared away.
I'm going to be a chef. I am going to do what my parents were afraid to do... what they made me afraid to do for all those years...
I AM GOING TO BE A CHEF!
Suck on that Harris!
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