As many of you who know me know, when it has come to times in my life of stress related to others' disagreements, I have always been the first one there to jump in, learn the story, and try to fix it. Sometimes it works... sometimes people move out.
It is almost beyond my control to have the overwhelming desire to try and make something work that is broken. I FIX STUFF. And by fix, I mean to my satisfaction... not necessarily to what is right.
Many an argument has been had over who is right and who is wrong in my presence. I think, for the most part, people trust my ability to rationalize a situation and come up with something that makes sense for the moment. That is a pretty sacred trust. One that weighs on a person and over time can break them down...
I have given a lot of my mental attitude and focus to a lot of people over the years. Some people, I truly believe that I have helped. Others, I am 99% sure I just prolonged some inevitable pain that they were going to have to deal with. My intentions weren't always honorable in those situations and those people, the people they were dealing with, and I ended up in worse shape for it. Fortunately, I found a way to come to peace with myself enough to stop doing things for dishonorable reasons... at least I don't have that guilt looming over my head anymore. However, there is still too much stress in dealing with my own life issues and still trying to 'fix' others.
So, I think I'm just going to be a friend from now on. I'm not going to try to fix you, your situation, or your life station. I won't butt in when I'm not wanted and I certainly won't be anything other than a good listener and a person you can trust not to stab you in the back (I haven't always been good at that either). If that is something you want and can handle from me, then I am all yours.
And yeah, I like pina coladas AND getting caught in the rain...
